Try as you might, Christmas music is unpreventable in the last three months that the year. Top top the radio, in the grocery store, in TV commercials, practically every whereby you go, you are bombarded v syrupy sweet renditions of jingle Bells, silent Night, and their ilk. Even if you room a fan of Christmas music, there are just so countless times you have the right to hear those exact same songs over and also over again before they drive you nuts.So it"s time to acquire revenge with a batch the Christmas song that are creepy, weird, perverse, violent, and also just plain wrong. Play these songs at your family get-togethers, church socials, and also office Christmas parties, and your friends, families and also co-workers will think you room a holiday-hating, Satan-worshipping, closeted serial killer.10. Kay martin & she Body safety - Hang her Balls ~ above the Christmas Tree


You are watching: Hang your balls on the christmas tree

*

What better way to celebrate Christmas than through a very thinly veiled sex joke comparing Christmas accessories to testicles? Kay boy name & her Body Guards had actually a risque nightclub plot in the 1950s and also "60s, and put out several albums, consisting of a Christmas album, "I know What He wants For Christmas... However I don"t know just how to wrap it!" all of the song on this album feature raunchy (for the time), Christmas-themed sex-related humor, but "Hang your Balls top top the Christmas Tree" is probably the creepiest, as it bring the whole family, including Grandma and also the kiddies follow me for the ride.Sample lyrics:"Daddy had a huge long thing, bound up v a violet string. A baseball bat, that I can see, but he hung my balls top top the Christmas tree."Kay martin & her Body security - Hang her Balls on the Christmas Tree 9. John Kassir (as The Cryptkeeper) - Deck the hall with parts of Charlie

*

In 1994, the tales From the Crypt TV show released "Have you yourself a Scary little Christmas," one album of horror-themed Christmas songs performed by john Kassir, the voice the The Cryptkeeper. The entire album is a creepy classic. In "Deck the room with components of Charlie," the standard song Deck the Halls has its "boughs of holly" replaced by a gleeful selection of severed body parts.Sample lyrics:"Stockings stuffed with ears and fingers (fa la la la la la la la la) chopped from every those caroling singers (fa la la la la la la la la)."8. Kip Addotta - I witnessed Daddy Kissing Santa Claus
The track "I experienced Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" is a little bit creepy as it is, featuring a peeping tom child spying ~ above a mom who is cheating on her husband with old Saint Nick. Kip Adotta"s variation adds extr frisson through swapping the genders, which add to a homosexual angle, and writing new lyrics that include fondling and undressing together the tickling and also kissing.Sample lyrics:"Then I saw Daddy fondle Santa Claus, and on his ear the nibbled now and then. I crawled across the floor, i hid behind the door, i left that open just a cracked so I can see part more." 7. James Kochalka Superstar - Sleighride to Heck
*

James Kochalka might be finest known together the Cartoonist Laureate that Vermont, and author that "American Elf" and also "Superfuckers," however he is additionally a bitchin" rock star, and has released nine albums with his band James Kochalka Superstar. "Sleighride come Heck" originates from their 2005 Rykodisc best-of album, "Our many Beloved."Sample lyrics:"Their desires are filled with toys, yet they room out the luck. "Cause Satan"s taking Santa on a sleighride to fuck!"

6. The Moog an equipment - Carol of the Bells

*

The rest of the songs on this list room novelty songs that are purposely funny or creepy, but "Carol that the Bells" is a classic Christmas song, and also it is scary as fuck. As soon as I hear it, i don"t think the a celebration event of the Virgin bear so much as the lift music you would hear when a group of black-robed cultists sacrificed a virgin come Satan. Just around any variation of this song would do, yet I picked The Moog Machine"s version because it"s all-synthesizer sound appears straight out of a Dario Argento flick.5. The Sonics - The village Idiot

*

Christmas is a time of warmth, togetherness, and according to legendary garage rock tape The Sonics, making fun of disabled people. In "The town Idiot," The Sonics recruit "village idiot" Harvey to song Jingle Bells for them, v politically not correct results.Sample lyrics:"Hey, why don"t we obtain that town idiot in here? wherein is he? He"s a homely spring guy."4. Weird Al Yankovic - The Night Santa went Crazy
In "The Night Santa went Crazy" weird Al chronicles what happens once Santa lastly snaps and also goes on a killing spree. It"s full of graphic, violent details, and also the song additionally comes in an "extra gory version" that is even worse. This is a good song come play for the kiddies if you space looking to warp their young minds.Sample lyrics:"And the smiled together he said with a twinkle in his eye, "Merry Christmas come all, currently you"re all gonna die!" "3. Reverend glen Armstrong - even Squeaky Fromme Loves ChristmasPeanut and also Butter and Chocolate are two good tastes that go an excellent together. Christmas and the Manson family? not so much. This is a monster one, in that it"s tough to tell if Armstrong is major or not. Either means it"s a hoot.Sample lyrics:"When Jesus died for Man"s sins, the even passed away for Manson"s. But please don"t think I"m trying to turn your feelings toward this murderer. There"s a girl in a cell who knew the killer as well well. And even though she"s bound because that hell, her tiny voice sings solder Bells."2. The Arrogant Worms - Santa"s Gonna Kick your AssI don"t really recognize much about these guys. Apparently they"re Canadian or something. However in 1997 the released the album "Christmas Turkey," i beg your pardon is ideal up there through the tales From the Crypt Christmas album as one of the all-time classics. It was tough trying come pick just one tune from this album to attribute on this list, but eventually I settled on "Santa"s Gonna Kick your Ass" since it is for this reason aggressively offensive and funny.Sample lyrics:"Elves space coming and they"re gonna steal her turkey, wreck her TV, burn under your Christmas tree. Elves space coming and also they"re gonna trash your home "cause lock ain"t obtained nothing else to carry out "1. Tiny Tim - Santa Claus Has got the AIDS This Year


See more: Do Purple And Teal Make What Color Does Blue And Purple Make?

This is a good one to play if you want to make tiny kids cry. Small Tim was a Grade-A weirdo, but this is messed up, even for him.Sample lyrics:"He won"t be singing out "ho-ho-ho-ho!" however he"ll be yelling out "no, no, no, no!""